The sickness I experienced at the top of 2017, revealed basic problems with the world’s definition of success.
Maybe I shouldn’t be able to write and publish two books in one year, launch a conference, rock a TED Talk, raise a child, house my entire family, throw 7 mini workshops, dump debt, remember birthdays, send gifts, consult with 100% accuracy, have drinks with my girls, play with my nieces, serve in two ministries, post 3 perfectly lit Instagram photos a day, post witty on Facebook 3 times a day, read the Bible, travel, find love, make love, wash dishes, eat, decorate an office, attend parent teacher conferences, and live life happy.
I wish I could know what would take me out and what keep me a float but I can’t say for sure. What I can say is: healing hurts. It hurts more than a broken heart, arm, or leg. A broken brain hurts all over in my heart, chest, neck, shoulders, elbows.
What happens when you start at the proverbial top. I start each of my companies as the founder, president, CEO aka at the top. The problem with this amazing vantage point is I am a woman who thrives on growth but starting everything at the top doesn’t really give me room to grow up. Yes, yes, I know I can grow in breath but I prefer growing up. Increasing the depth of my knowledge which only grows up as my knowledge gets deeper in one amazing idea.
My kid blows me away every day. I’ve reconciled that my kiddo isn’t going to be everything that I think he should be and that he’s going to be exactly who he wants to be. Which for many parents is a stressful-gut-wrenching experience but for me I love love love how my son sees his life and who he wants to become.
A book called “1984” by George Orwell. This was an amazing airport find. It’s a book about a negative utopia. I picked it up because it was my birth year and it had the word utopia in it. Yes, folks sometimes that’s all it takes. This year I really wanted to get into novels and this was a perfect first novel. My favorite quote so far is “Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past,”. I mean read that a few times and let it reverberate in your mind. As an African American woman, I think about how much of my history has been altered to give me the impression that my ancestors preferred slavery to freedom, my ancestors, ancestors willingly gave up their brothers and sisters in the trans-Atlantic slave trade, and that my ancestors were not strong. As a result of the future for my cultural often looks bleak. But it’s not just my people this book also made me think about the Native Americans. It’s worth a read. Indulge your perspective.
My lifestyle blog. It makes me smile every time I come here.