Life Lately No. 5

It’s the not knowing that hurts the very most. Not knowing whether or not I’ll feel good, feel capable, feel anything. This week is one of those weeks where I feel numb. Maybe it’s because I haven’t worked in nearly five months? Maybe it’s because I miss my son, Maybe it’s because depression and anxiety suck.

Healing

I just want to know that this feeling won’t be forever and that I can actually manage it independent of the need for others.

Learning

I’m learning about the many many toxins I put in my body on a daily basis. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve always been an extremely sensitive person in every way but especially my skin. What I’ve learned in the past few years is that my skin irritation is more of the last reaction and that my body is reacting in many other ways that I was simply ignoring. It wasn’t until I had an amazing experience at an AIRBNB the air was clear and I felt my very very best no need for coffee and I didn’t have to watch what I ate I just felt amazing. So in an effort to return to that place of health I’m detoxing my body, my home, and my life.

Major detoxes for my body include removing my silver fillings, cleaning my colon, liver, and kidney, and doing an elimination diet to determine food sensitivities.

For my home detox I am cleaning with all-natural products, adding air purifiers, and likely going to clean the air ducts (I’m in a sublease so I’ll have to check with my landlord).

My life detox includes changing my work habits. Instead of working from the sun up until the sun down I will follow my natural rhythm. I’m also setting boundaries. I had no idea that letting people cross my personal boundaries was becoming toxic to my life. I have too many people who believe they have the right to tell me what to do and not do.

Parenting (Long-Distance)

My son’s love language is quality time and I am slacking on this majorly. Even though this isn’t my love language I am starting to feel the pain of not see my son on a daily basis. I miss him so much. I’m working to get him out here in the next week.

Reading

Nothing. I can’t think. My brain hurts.

Loving

The spring weather. Spring in Chicago is like a dream come true. It feels amazing almost everyday so I’ve really been enjoying the sun..

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