Feeling everything. The worse part about being healthy is feeling EVERYTHING. I’ve always known myself to be physically sensitive (I.e. Teeth, skin, eyes) etc. but imagine my surprise to learn that I am as emotionally sensitive as I am physically sensitive. Like stuff that doesn’t typically hurt other people (I.e. Words) seer through my flesh and cut into my heart. Like I wish I could filter everyone’s words before they reached my ears because I think people just don’t think before they speak.
Which made this week incredibly painful. The more others are learning about my health and well being the more words they “just have to” share with me. Most of these words make me want to punch them in the face. I don’t, however, I just politely listen (this I may stop doing) and hold space for their thoughts and feelings. Needless to say because of all these words coming at me this week has been pretty excruciating.
So I changed four core beliefs which mean I know have holes in my foundation where those beliefs once where. Before I replace them with new core beliefs I want to make sure my new beliefs are righteous as in an alignment with Gods truth about who I am. But before I can do that I must do a little more healing.
I feel everything! Which I get makes me really amazing at my work but also really sucks for my personhood. I want to stay open to the wholeness I felt the day of my breakthrough but doing that means being fully present and being fully present is rather painful. I’m also learning I really adore church.
Seriously my son’s visit doesn’t seem to be coming fast enough. I miss him deeply. I have no idea what we are going to do when he gets here. I just want him here.
I finished Peace From Broken Pieces. I give this book five stars for transparency and teaching. It has really guided me along the path of peace in this season.
I’m in the middle of Big Magic it’s a fun read. My favorite passages so far are An Idea, An idea Deterred, and An Idea Goes Away. These three passages have really helped me to release the stress that’s be building around three ideas that have gone away.
I’m loving the Chicago summery weather, my new clothes, and my all day long peace.