Why I Haven’t Set a Goal Since 2019
Yesterday, I was on the phone with one of my amazing, supportive friends, brainstorming product ideas for my brand. During our conversation, I sketched out a rough outline for a planner I’ll bring to market soon. I explained the page formatting, the planner’s purpose, and even the technology I envisioned incorporating.
As I shared my vision, I casually mentioned, “Well, I guess people will have to create a goal after they set their intentions because—”
She cut me off mid-sentence and said, “No, change that to creating more intentions because you don’t do goals.”
I was intrigued and asked her what she meant. She explained, “You just don’t use the language of goal-setting. It almost sounds aggressive coming from you, and there’s nothing aggressive about your approach to life. Everything you do is about intentionality. Setting an intention every day is even one of your Five Habits of Happiness. Goal-setting just isn’t your thing. That’s not to say you don’t get things done or make amazing things happen—you absolutely do. But your approach is much happier and more easeful.”
By the time she finished, we were both laughing because she was absolutely right. I don’t use the language of goal-setting to progress in my business or my life.
It’s not that I’ve never created or achieved a goal—in fact, I’ve hit most of my goals when I’ve set them. But I’ve learned that goal-setting doesn’t serve me as well as intention-setting does.
The Difference Between Goals and Intentions
A goal is a specific, measurable outcome you aim to achieve in the future. It’s concrete, outcome-driven, and often bound by time. An intention, on the other hand, is a present-moment mindset that informs your actions and choices. Intentions focus on the overall direction you want to move in rather than a specific destination.
In my research on happiness, I’ve discovered a recurring theme: the journey toward happiness is far more important than the destination. Initially, I resisted this idea. I thought that reaching my destination as quickly as possible would guarantee greater happiness when I arrived.
But after achieving several significant goals in my life—at the expense of an enjoyable, balanced journey—I’ve learned the hard truth: no destination is worth an unhealthy, unhappy, or unfulfilling journey.
The Cost of the Wrong Approach
When you reach your destination after overextending yourself, you often feel an overwhelming need to overcompensate for all you sacrificed along the way. This can lead to tunnel vision, causing you to neglect your relationships, health, and sense of purpose. Worst of all, it robs you of the perspective found in the mistakes and miracles along the way.
For me, goal-setting feels too narrow and rigid for how I’m wired—and maybe for how you’re wired, too, especially if happiness is a priority in your life.
I’m not saying that people who set goals don’t value happiness; I’m simply suggesting that happiness might not always rank high on their priority list, and that’s okay. But if you’re anything like me, and happiness is one of your highest priorities, consider focusing on your direction (intentions) over your destination (goals) to create the results you want in life rather reaching for outcomes.
How Intentions Changed My Life
I haven’t set a single goal in the last five years, yet my life has transformed in ways I once only dreamed of.
Some of this success might be attributed to momentum or compounding efforts. But deep down, I believe it’s because I got crystal clear and set an intention every day to guide me and let go of the idea that I needed goals to move forward.
Here’s what happened when I made that shift:
I met and married the love of my life, experiencing healthy, whole, and happy romantic love.
I naturally conceived, carried, and birthed a beautiful, healthy baby girl.
My business flourished, helping me pay off my debts, fly first-class, and meet several people I admire.
I built my dream home library in my rented apartment—a space that brings me endless excitement and joy.
I moved into my favorite neighborhood in my favorite city, living a life of peace and fulfillment.
I reconciled with my extended family and healed my PTSD and CPTSD symptoms that were once debilitating.
When I stopped striving for specific outcomes and instead aligned my actions with my intentions, my dreams started coming true in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
What About You?
Are you a goal-setter or an intention setter?
If goal-setting works for you, that’s wonderful—keep doing what aligns with your values and brings you success. But if you’re feeling stuck or disconnected from the joy of the journey, maybe it’s time to try a different approach.
Intentions can open up a new, happier way of moving through life—one that prioritizes your well-being and leaves room for unexpected blessings.
I’d love to hear from you! Are you more of a goal-setter or an intention creator? Share your thoughts in the comments or tag me on social media with your answer!
