3 Steps to Find Your Personal Style
One reason I don’t like to read style or fashion blogs from incredibly stylish or fashionable people is because they never seem to help me find my personal style. While I drool over their looks, shopping guides, and runway reviews, I never leave their site with much clarity about what I need to do to elevate my personal style. If anything, I close the tab on their page filled with more self-doubt about my ability to figure this style thing out.
I think this happens for a couple of reasons. Most fashion bloggers are gifted in style and fashion. Meaning they were born stylish. They have an innate ability to see colors, shapes, and fabrics in such a way that makes stunning outfits. This isn’t to say they aren’t well-researched and haven’t dedicated their ten thousand hours to mastering their understanding of style and fashion. But it is to say some of it is inherent.
The other obstacle is they don’t have the capacity to teach something they intuitively know (some may also not have the desire). They experienced the process of developing personal style intuitively rather than practically. If you’re searching how to find your personal style, you’re seeking the practical, which requires a whole different set of skills. Have no fear—that’s where I come in.
We can do this together. I am two years into my personal style journey, and here’s the process I’ve gone through so far to feel confident in my clothes, dress with ease, and create a sense of happiness every time I step into my closet.
Phase 1: The Great Unlearning
The first phase of personal style is all about finding objectivity so you can see where you are starting in style. Whether you like to believe it or not, you already have a personal style—you just don’t like it enough to own it. This is where objectivity comes into play. Every day, you’re putting clothes on your body. You have clothes in your closet. Yet you believe you don’t have personal style because you can’t see yourself in your wardrobe.
The first thing you need to do is unlearn what you’ve been taught about your body. Whether the comments were derogatory or flattering, you have to unlearn that information because it’s keeping you stuck and disconnected from your sense of style. The best way to unlearn and get an objective start to your personal style journey is to get a Kibbe Analysis and Season Color Analysis.
The Kibbe Analysis will help you understand your body type and proportions so you can make intentional choices in fabric and silhouettes.
The Color Season Analysis will help you understand why you feel dull or washed out in some clothes—hint: it’s because you’re wearing the wrong colors.
Growing up, I was told that my body was too tempting for men. This gave me a delusion about my curves and ultimately made me overly modest. I was also told I had a "plain Jane" or "girl next door" style, so when I tried to experiment with sequins, bold patterns, and colors, I felt like a fraud.
Fast forward several decades, and my Kibbe ID is Theatrical Romantic, and my color analysis is Deep Winter. This helped me understand my curves and gave me permission to stop overcorrecting with modest clothing. My color season taught me why shades of brown washed me out. These tools felt like closet therapy—helping me break free from old narratives and see myself objectively.
If you don’t see yourself objectively, you’ll style yourself to fit a false narrative in your head. Phase 1 is about unlearning and building a new foundation.
Phase 2: The Great Experiment
The second phase is all about experimenting. Most people quit their personal style journey in this phase because it requires self-reflection, discipline, and brutal honesty. But this is where the magic happens!
Here’s how to experiment:
Take a picture of yourself every day for two weeks. Whether you get dressed or not. Just take the picture.
Go shopping at stores you fantasize about or ones recommended for your Kibbe body type.
Buy new clothes and remix them with items in your wardrobe.
Step 1 helps you identify where you’re starting. Most of us are overly critical and don’t give ourselves enough credit for how beautiful we already look. This step will also help you eliminate wardrobe items that don’t fit your color season or body type.
Step 2 involves exploring stores that align with your dream style. There’s a reason you’re drawn to certain brands—inside those stores are clues to your personal style.
Step 3 is where you buy clothes and create outfits. Yes, you might make mistakes (like I did with a few winter coats). But buying and trying outfits will help you gain confidence and clarity.
Phase 3: The Great Awakening
At this point, you’ll know your colors, body type, and what feels good on your body. Now it’s time to get rid of what doesn’t work. Declutter your closet so it reflects happiness, ease, and clarity.
Then, keep getting dressed every day. That’s the secret the super stylish know—they keep experimenting. The more they get dressed, the more they awaken to what they love about their body and their clothes. Then they rinse and repeat over and over again.
If you want to feel confident in your clothes and elevate your personal style, remember that it’s a journey, not a destination. Whether you’re in Phase 1, Phase 2, or Phase 3, I’d love to help. Request a Kibbe Consult today, and let’s figure out how to transform your wardrobe into a place of happiness.
